Miscount? 13 weeks and 1 day!

We went to the Imaging clinic yesterday to get our nuchal fold test done and I was so nervous going in. I had vowed not to be as nervous as last time but apparently I don't listen to myself! The lady who scanned me was so kind and went out of her way to tell me how good my scans were and that the baby looked wonderful and just how it should for 13 weeks. "13 weeks?", I said, "I thought I was only 12!" but apparently not.  We got a lovely disc of images too so I'll work on posting some of them soon. 

I don't know whether it is a sign of something either but I have been referring to baby as 'he', perhaps prophetic? Not sure. I'd be delighted with a boy or girl either way. When ever I ask Little V what the baby is though she says little brother whose name is 'baby' so we'll have to wait until the twenty week scan to see. Luckily 'baby' as a name goes both ways!

Today we went shopping in town and it was quite successful. We even stood in line to get a Santa photo and Little V was not too badly behaved (with plyings of crackers, drink and finally a dummy). I did have a strange moment where I developed a shining crescent flash in my right eye. It lasted about 10 minutes and then disappeared. I googled it, of course, when I got home as this is the third time it's happened and it could be an ocular migraine or in pregnant women over 20 or so weeks a sign of pre-eclampsia, only it's normally accompanied by high blood pressure and swelling in the hands, feet or face which I don't have so I'll wait and mention it to my OB when I next see her on the 31st.  It doesn't hurt but it is quite disconcerting! 

Energy levels have been quite good and not as much nausea, if I had to rate today (even though it's not over yet!) I think it'd be an 8 out of 10 :)

12 weeks

I had arranged a while back to go walking with a friend (Miss S) today and after yesterday I was a bit worried that I'd have to cancel due to erkiness. Luckily this was no the case and we were able to set off around ten. I was aware that I wasn't walking at my usual pace (I can't believe I feel so encumbered already!) but Miss S didn't seem to notice.  

Miss S is one of the friends I had previously mentioned that has been trying to get pregnant for a long, long time and started off having hormone tablets and then progressed to injections to try and get her ovulation happening.  I see her quite often and it was a heart breaking thing to watch each months disappointment when she found that she had not conceived. She had told me near the end of November that her OB was going to give her one last 'go' at trying on her own and if she hadn't by December then he wanted her to come in for an op to 'clear out her tubes'! I was so upset for her as I had just recently been through my op and could totally sympathise with the fear and anxiety that come along with such a prospect.  I really prayed and wished for her to be successful and I was a bit annoyed at the pressure her OB had seemed to put on her. 

Well, whilst walking and talking she started telling me how she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to go on her holidays overseas anymore and how she'd have to wait until her next scan and I couldn't help myself, "You said scan!" I exclaimed and she looked at me guiltily and smiled and nodded her head. Of course we carried on like twits in the street, laughing and hugging and all the rest and she told me that she hopes that I get pregnant soon so we can be fatties together and so it was my turn to look guilty. More carrying on and laughing ensued! 

What a great day! It turns out she may be having twins too! Something to do with the hormone injections she tells me but not to get too excited yet as apparently one may be absorbed in the early stages. She is around seven weeks so we will not be far apart in things at all. Let's hope all goes well for the both of us :) It is nice to have some happy news.

11 weeks 6 days

Had an absolute shocker of a day today. Big V and I decided to try and be organised and go Christmas shopping together so there would be two of us to look after Little V but we had such issues even getting out the door that we ended up setting out an hour later than intended. 

Once in town we were driving round the block to try and find a park and I could feel this wave of nausea starting to rise in my belly. I said to Big V that I needed to eat something pretty soon as usually that does the trick but I suddenly realised that it wasn't going to wait. I choked out a "pull over!" and just as he did I opened up the door to let fly with a charming jet of bile into the gutter. Thank God there were no pedestrians in sight as I just kept going and going and going... 

Needless to say it was an extremely unflattering moment and one I don't care to repeat. As I shakily closed the door a new aroma infested the car but it wasn't me. Little V had chosen that moment to crap herself. It was a unanimous decision to call it quits and go home.  Little V went to sleep as soon as we got home and I curled up on the couch and tried to feel comfortable and ignore the foul taste in my mouth that even chipolte sauce couldn't get rid of. I hope tomorrow is a more productive day!

11 weeks 5 days

More nausea today - bleurgh! I find it's when I don't eat in time that it's the worst. I was halfway through making toast this morning when a wave of gagging hit. I'm so glad we have privacy blinds in our kitchen! It would not have been a good look to be caught dry retching into the kitchen sink! Just one more of the not so attractive things that can come with pregnancy. 

Although I must remind myself that I promised not to complain as I was so afraid that I would not even be able to conceive after the last time. And also that I have so many friends who are going through troubles with wanting a baby - hormone tablets, injections, IVF, etc. One particular friend I just make wishes for all the time that it will happen for her because she gets her hopes up so, so much each month and then gets so depressed when it doesn't. People say, it'll happen when it happens, relax and don't stress so much but it it is so much easier said than done. 

We all have our different worries. For me it's just hoping that every aspect of this pregnancy turns out ok. The gestation, the birth, the child's health afterwards, MY health afterwards... it can become an all consuming thing if you let it. I am conscious to pull myself up when I feel my thoughts wander down that path and try to turn to more positive thoughts, after all what help is it to worry? None at all.

We are going to Big V's Christmas work dinner tonight and I've thought very long and hard about what sort of attire will hide my growing paunch. I managed to find a little orangey, smock type tunic which does the hiding quite nicely without looking like a fancy sack. Well done me :) It will be nice to go out for meal that I don't have to cook myself!

11 weeks 4 days

Had a fantastic day today.  Mood much, much better. No nausea either, yay!  The only thing I'm a bit concerned about is that I've been feeling like I'm starting to get constipated (pleasant, I know but this is a warts and all account!) I'm not yet but I'm aware that I feel different down there :( I've started trying to drink more water (probably a good thing anyway) and perhaps I'll invest in some prunes too!  Some of the mother's I know have told me about their experiences with haemorrhoids and they just sound so unpleasant!  Constipation seems to be a contributing factor so I really, REALLY hope I don't get them!

I went to Mother's group this morning to catch up with the lovely ladies that I met just after having Little V. Two of them, Mrs. L and Mrs. K, have just had their second babies, literally within a week or two of each other and Mrs. B is due in Feb. I got to cuddle K's new Bub and she is simply devine. Perhaps that's what perked my mood, cuddling this tiny little life. You forget how small they are in the beginning.  

We're going to have our own Chrissy/ goodbye dinner this week as B is leaving for the mainland to live for a bit while her hubby does his placement for work (he is a Dr.). She assures us that they'll definitely be back as their hearts are here but you never know. I will be really sad to see B go as I have connected with her perhaps the most, it is not that far away to visit but with little ones it always ups the ante to travel!

I really wanted to sleep in the afternoon as I've been feeling very fatigued but I made myself stay up and then took Little V down to visit a friend's new house. We had chatted yesterday and she guessed that I was pregnant! She is a NICU nurse though so I guess she is more tuned in to these things. She is also trying for her third and hopes she gets there soon so we can be fatties together, hahaha! We have decided to go out to dinner on New Year's Eve and we will stay at theirs and share a babysitter. A lovely plan as I get so tired in the evening now, I'm not sure I'd be awake for the 12 o'clock countdown!

11 weeks 3 days

Had a bit of a crap nights sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with a bout of hayfever - such itchy ears and throat! It was ages before I could get back to sleep and as a result I'm feeling a bit average today.

There's so much to do before Christmas and I feel like I just want to ignore it all. We are having Christmas day lunch at ours for Big V's family and then Boxing day lunch at my Mum's for our family. I am a bit concerned at how we'll go at ours because Big V's Dad (Poppy) cannot have salt in his diet and his Mum (Nanny) is a diabetic, so no sugar!!! I'm thinking eye fillet, oven baked for Poppy and Turkey - hold the cranberry, for Nanny. I'm sure I am worrying over nothing but lately my moods seem prone to over worrying and analysing. When is the nice nesting, motherly feelings going to kick in!

11 weeks 2 days

Woke up feeling awesome and energised, ready to tackle anything kinda mood.  No nausea, although my tummy has started feeling a little distended and it's getting harder to hide the mini paunch that is appearing. I guess second time round your muscles are slightly more relaxed!

I tried to ring a few people to catch up but no one was available so Little V and I ended up riding down to the park by ourselves.  One thing I've noticed about this pregnancy is that while I am not experiencing the extreme lows in mood as I did with the previous one, I am feeling very emotional and sensitive. I really, REALLY wanted to hang out with people today and even though I was feeling good I got quite sad when no one was available.  I knew this was a ridiculous feeling and I didn't want it to stop me doing something so I'm glad I had enough verve to kick my own butt and go on our lonesome anyway. It's so frustrating to know that you are susceptible to your hormones and can feel like something is wrong even though you know there is nothing wrong. It's like you go about your day searching for something to pin the blame on because you think 'I must be feeling this way for a reason', only the reason is chemical not situational!

I rang Big V to chat to him about this and being the lovely that he is he offered to cancel his jogging plans with our BIL and stay home with me. I actually got quite teary on the phone to him which I hate because I sound like a sap! I declined his offer because I know how little time he has for things like gym and exercise these days and I am not terrific company when feeling like this, I'd rather not use him as a whipping boy! Also, I do not want to give in to these feelings. I'd rather try and stay positive. Sure I'll acknowledge how I'm feeling but I don't want to let it control my life!